Our next season…
Well its officially a change of season around here in BC, and for me its just as much metaphorically as physically! Its been an amazing, but a hard year, with lots on the go, adding our second to our crew and many heart changes along the way. Really this isn’t a big giant meaning of life post so I hope it doesn’t become that for you but I thought with some changes happening around Posie and Pine I might just need to get a few things out so you, my wonderful readers, friends, family, clients and customers can get a feel for where we are at 🙂 So hold on tight cause its about to get real up in here and I mean #realstagram real!(hence my lovely accompanying photos ;))
I never thought I would find something, or be able to create something from nothing that would function as a job for me that allowed me to be creative. I am seriously a hoopla of so many passions and loves and its hard for me to focus energies on one thing at a time because my mind is always spinning to the next.
So when I finally made my decision to go for this, for the blogging, creating, styling, mama-ing, wife-ing I figured if I just stuck my nose to the ground, worked hard, I could get there and boy I had no idea that I had just jumped feet first into a HUGE undertaking.
I love what I have built, what its become, morphed and transformed into. But its a lot. I all of a sudden entered into this “hustle hard” world where your worth and gusto comes from piling on the busy. Mamas getting it, making our feminist predecessors proud, working and raising babies.
It was even a print I had in my shop. I felt a high from it all, for once I felt like I was in the role I have been craving my whole life, rising kids and doing something I can do well – prove to my past self and words that haunted me growing up that I wasn’t lazy, that I had a work ethic, and I could sacrifice sleep and sanity to maintain it.
and to be honest I probably could have continued maintaining it but with a shop full of custom orders, multiple weekly events, photoshoots, launching a rentals division, blogging, basically running a whole un-paid second business just trying to keep up the engagement on social media, creating new and inventive looks to stay above the competition and copycats, taking on sponsorships, doing hair and makeup on weekends, taking care of my kids with very minimal help available, playdates, friendships, church activities and maintaining a healthy marriage. Something had to give.
It really all came to a head in late spring, basically just before completely launching our rentals, the algorithms on instagram had kicked into high gear, engagement was down and I was desperately trying to fight it, I was out so much during the week running from here to there and our schedule had been stretched to its limits and sh*t kind of finally hit the fan so to speak. My husband, the love of my life, finally said to me its too much. Something had to change. Our time together was suffering because of it, and I was NOT willing to let this sense of so called “self worth” because of my busyness mentality start to break down my family dynamic.
For those of you who think this is very un-feminist of me, well I am sorry to disappoint you. I can tell you it wasn’t my husband making me stop, or taking it away. We have a mutual love and understanding for each other. We are equals in our marriage and I wasn’t holding up my side. Something needed to change. I was feeling exhausted.
So that day I decided what could give then would be my social media, I felt a slave to it and I hated it. It is a big part of business these days having your name out there but when you spend 80% of your job trying to do that (and still seeing no extra engagement from it), and 20% doing the thing you actually want to do. Its infuriating, I just couldn’t understand why I had to spend so much freaking time doing something I was’t getting paid to do to see only minimal results towards the actual paying part of my business. So I made the effort to take a break, to go from once or twice everyday to just when I wanted to. Yes for sure it was a major hit, but I felt better. I wasn’t scraping at what felt like a mountain of sand I was climbing.
Im sure the next thing some of you are thinking is “money isn’t everything yada yada..”. Trust me I know this. I don’t necessarily need to work and it would be more then enough to be a stay at home mama (trust me thats enough work on its own! Thats a whole other rant lol) But I want more. I never thought I would, but I do. There are so many mamas who are hustling, busting their butts who wholly support their families or make up half the income – bloggers, creators, techies, marketers, lawyers, doctors, nurse’s, photographers, teachers, and more! So many of them out there and I am proud to call lots of those ladies friends. I am proud of every single one. Its a hard place to be in these days, its as if society has done a flip flop – it used to be if you were working and raising kids it was seen as a bad thing, you were a bad mom. Now if your a stay at home mom without a side hustle – your just lazy. There is no truth to either, just women choices of how to live their best lives. Simple as that.
We decided to let the launch happen and we could come back to everything come fall. Enjoy the summer, slow things down and reconvene. I took this summer to really evaluate what I want, pray and see what was next. I felt a deep calling to be more apart of our church, to love on people in my community, to travel with and be present with my family. And now its fall…
I have come to the decision to end my making of custom florals and rentals portion of Posie and Pine.
Starting now the rentals are closed. We will be having big sales from now till 2018 of our inventory and some custom work we haven’t put up yet (stay tuned for this on instagram and possibly at a market!). It was a hard decision but one I feel complete peace in my heart about. For the orders already talked about and completed
I will continue to Blog (staying under the name Posie and Pine) as I just love to write, we will continue to share our raw moments, some fun parties and hopefully some more travel! I will do it as my creative outlet and I will continue to do makeup and hairstyling as well but up to now its been mainly by word of mouth and will continue to be. I really wanted to still contribute to my family and work very part time, and since I had so much experience from working on instagram and through social media (don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy it, just didn’t like not getting paid for how much I was on it!) I had been praying for a very part time job helping a local company with their social media marketing, helping them climb their sand mountain to give them some of the much needed relief I got from it, (I know super specific to pray for), but guess what… it happened! (more on that later…)
SO thats it in a nutshell (a very big nutshell apparently) but as we say GOODBYE to the Shop part of Posie and Pine, and this website begins to look much more like a formal blog layout, I am excited for what the future holds. I am excited for the changes and for the opportunity to serve my family, friends, church and community the best I can. Cause thats whats important to me.
To love and help people, to be present, and always keep growing.
These beautiful photos were taken of me and my little loves in real time, no set up, just doing our actual morning things. Pjs, no makeup, messy hair, messy house. The real deal. My most cherished moments.
Big thank you to our friend Jaleesa Matteazzi Photography
for so beautifully capturing my heart so well.